Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
