i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
