party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
