i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
