hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
