How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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