I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
