I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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