11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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