im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
