Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
