But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
