oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
