i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
