what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
