Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and she was petting her beer can
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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