I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
