dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
bring money and cleavage
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
