Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
