You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
