I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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