Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Brb crying the tears of my youth
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
