i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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