So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
