I have demons in me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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