Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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