State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
