Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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