it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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