it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
