How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
