he thought i was a dude.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
