Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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