Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
