I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
