Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
