Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
