Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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