IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
