Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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