I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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