can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
