The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
