So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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