but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
