Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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