VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's never too late to be topless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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