I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
