Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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