Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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